Sad Things for Lonely People: A Goldfish Bowl for Your Head So You Can Get a Little Peace and Quiet at the Damn Bar

So, um, love bars but hate the infernal racket in them? Oh, don’t we know it! Indeed, as reports the Daily Mail, “It’s an age-old dilemma facing pub regulars and clubbers — how to enjoy a quiet conversation over the racket of fellow revellers and blaring music.”

Well, now there are “Social Spheres,” glorified astronaut helmets, or “lightweight speech bubbles,” that lend privacy and a conspiratorial air to an otherwise raucous (a/k/a fun) environment. You can thank a 23-year-old design student, Elaine McLuskey, for this beaut.

The device for two is stationary and has a headsized hole at either side, creating a haven of peace for the participants.

As someone who once owned one of those hamster balls (and, yes, a hamster), I just have to ask … doesn’t it start to get a little “close” in there after a while? Oh, there’s one for singles, too, because, you know, sitting at home and drinking alone on your couch just isn’t that social.

Actually, though, this could be a boon in bars. Just stay the hell away from anyone who’s wearing one and you’re good to go.