Please, Don’t Throw the Baby in the Hudson, Even if You’re Seriously Pissed at Your Husband


Say what you will about babies — they’re bratty, demanding, weepy, hard to name, probably bipolar, and they poop a lot — but it is just not okay to hurl them into a body of water as a revenge tactic against your husband (or even your boyfriend), okay?

As the New York Post reports in a story titled “Evil mom threw baby in Hudson for revenge against husband” (how long have they been dying to use that one?), Devi Silvia, the mom who tossed her 19-month-old daughter into the Hudson River on Tuesday and then jumped in after her (both were luckily rescued and are in stable condition) “told cops she was bent on revenge against her spouse.”

“She said she was sad and lonely and angry at her husband, and that she did this horrific act on purpose,” assistant district attorney Robert Hettleman said in arguing successfully that the mother be held without bail. “She made clear that she threw her baby into the freezing river in order to get back at her husband.”

There are so many revenge tactics out there far better than this one. Have you heard of putting frozen shrimp in the curtain rods of his pied a terre/hooker lair, where they’ll slowly rot and he’ll go insane trying to figure out where the unpleasant aroma is coming from? There’s also hydrogen peroxide in the shampoo, and any number of things you can do with his delicious home-cooked dinner… I mean, if you’re truly unoriginal, drop something in the Hudson, but at least make it the keys to his BMW or his actual BMW or something.

Obviously, this is a sick woman who needs help, and our heart goes out to her. Also, this would so be a really great Law & Order plot. (Sob.)