Facebook Knows You’re About to Get Dumped, But So Does Everyone Else


According to AllFacebook, the unofficial everything you didn’t really want to know about Facebook (but we’re going to tell you anyway) site, Facebook actually knows about your upcoming breakup before you do. David Kirkpatrick, who has written the upcoming tome The Facebook Effect, which we are going to be way too busy on Facebook to actually read, says “relationship patterns were something that Mark Zuckerberg often toyed with.”

Zuckerberg sometimes amused himself by conducting experiments. For instance, he concluded that by examining friend relationships and communications patterns he could determine with about 33 percent accuracy who a user was going to be in a relationship with a week from now.

Which sounds evil and creepy and big brothery until you realize that this is actually pretty obvious stuff that certainly doesn’t take a Harvard grad, or drop-out, to figure out. If you’re constantly emailing attractive people who aren’t your significant other about how annoying your significant other is, if you’re posting photos of you making out (or looking predisposed to making out) with other people, or if you’re writing “I hate you bastard” on your boyfriend/girlfriend’s wall, your relationship is not long for this world.

That Zuckerberg “amused” himself with experiments about your failing relationships, however, means that he may indeed be dick.