There Is a Frightening Possibility That Sandra Lee Could Become New York’s Next First Lady


Another week, another sign of the apocalypse: Sandra Lee, the Food Network’s high priestess of packaged goods, may be packaging herself as New York’s next First Lady.

The New York Times published a story last Friday about Lee’s relationship with Attorney General Andrew Cuomo, who may run for governor again. They’ve been together since 2005, and over the years Lee has taught Cuomo how to use a crockpot and baked numerous brownies for his staff. Should Cuomo become our next governor, Lee has promised to bring “great garnishes” to the governor’s mansion. Along with, one can only hope, drunk Christmas trees, potatoes made of ice cream, and untold bottles of vodka.