Last night, I was by far the youngest one at the Friars Club tribute to ex NYC mayor David Dinkins, and that was amazing considering that most nights I feel like a junior high school counselor.
But comedian Norm Crosby, who’s 82, insisted that he’s not old.
“I’ll tell you what old is,” Crosby told the Friars crowd.
“Old is when they don’t X-ray you anymore, they just hold you up to the light.
“Old is when people congratulate you on your alligator shoes and you’re not wearing any.
“Old is when you order a three-minute egg and they want you to pay upfront.
“Old is when you empty your bladder every morning at seven and you get out of bed every mornng at 7:30.”
Ba dum pum. Ba dum pum. Ba dum pum. Ba dum pum.
And Crosby ended with a killer:
“An old man’s girlfriend once said, ‘Let’s go up the stairs and make love.’ He replied, ‘I can’t do both’.”