“Our Neighborhood Is Not Your Public Toilet”: Dude, Find a Starbucks or Something


It’s that time of year again. In fact, it was on an unseasonable but deliciously warm day just a month ago that we witnessed at least three men peeing in various dark corners of a mere block of Delancey Street. Was it a coordinated effort? Perhaps. Does that make it acceptable? Nay.

Today Bowery Boogie has issued an open letter to public pissers. And we appreciate that. Just because we all enjoy a gentle breeze wafting upon our nether regions and the freedom to dare and be bare and relieve ourselves all willy-nilly/out in the open after 47 beers, we do not enjoy urine smell all over our streets, or landing our flip flop in a puddle of the stuff. So let’s try to practice a little self-control for once in our debauched lives, okay?

Dear Drunken Revelers,

Stop peeing on our beloved streets. And especially in the doorways of apartments buildings and storefronts. It’s enough already. Our neighborhood is not your public toilet. How would you feel if we strolled up to your neck of the woods, got wasted, and urinated all over your front door? Precisely. Leave and don’t come back.

Bowery Boogie

This presumes, of course, that the pee-ers don’t live where they pee, which may be giving them too much benefit in terms of doubt — after all, a man (and with rare exceptions, these pee-fenders are men) who’s willing to drop trou in public may not be the best decision maker.

But either way, the message is valid. Speaking from experience, it’s always good to make sure you “go” before you leave a place, lest you get caught with your pants down on Delancey … because if we see you, we will take a picture, and you will not be happy with where it ends up. All’s fair in love and bodily fluids.