According to a pair of Manhattan couples counselors recently interviewed by handy apartment living blog BrickUnderground, “about 20 percent of the couples they see begin therapy after moving into studio apartments together.”
Which makes sense. It’s hard enough to live in a tiny space by yourself, but add another body and their annoying habit of clipping their toenails on the windowsill — not to mention the fact that you’re supposed to love them but have the inkling they may be entirely disgusting — and oh, holy hell, you’ve got a shitstorm in the making.
“Living in a small space amplifies problems that are already there,” explains Dr. Paul Moschetta. Psychotherapist Charley Wininger agrees: “Two compatible people in too small a space can become incompatible.”
Some helpful tips:
• Get a bigger apartment, even if it’s not in the best part of town. You never even have to leave if you can finagle your own wing, with “conjugal” visits.
• Get rid of all of your shit. Or at least keep the place marginally clean. Empty pizza boxes and moldering socks do not a romantic lair make.
• Get out now and again. Walk in the park, canoodle under a street lamp, or go to a bar and flirt with a mysterious stranger so you have something new to fight about.
• Suck it up and quit your bitching. Hey, at least you have someone to share this lonely, godforsaken life with. Because, really, the only thing worse than being trapped in 200-square-foot studio with someone you can barely stand is being alone and forced to quench your thirst for companionship in baby sloth videos and fro-yo. Actually, that sounds kind of nice.