The fated day is almost upon us: this Sunday is the series finale of ABC’s beloved tropical clusterfuck, Lost. If you’ve yet to find your ideal finale-viewing-party bar, now is probably the time to figure it out. Do you prefer island-appropriate mixed drinks? Or perhaps a citywide scavenger hunt? Personally, we require a Lost finale to go above and beyond simply playing the show. We want themed cocktails, giant projection screens, mystery, suspense, and preferably an obscenely difficult Lost-nerd trivia element. If you have what it takes, if you won’t be told what you can’t do, if you wanna live together and die alone, then this is the event listing for you, brotha.
1. The Black Rock/Frying Pan, 7 p.m.
The Black Rock, a/k/a the 1929 ship we pulled out of the Chesapeake and stuck on Pier 66, better known as the Frying Pan, will be showing the finale on an authentic HD eight-by-seven-foot projection screen. The evening’s menu consists of the customary faux-Dharma beer (usually a High Life or PBR), and not-so-customary but pretty awesome-sounding Namaste burgers, John Locke beef skewers, or Jin seafood salad. We’d really prefer to see some boar on the menu. [SOLD OUT]
2. South 4th Bar, 10 a.m.
What, you don’t want jungle juice Jell-O shots!?! Chill out for a whole day of preparatory Lost rerun viewing starting at 10 a.m. at this south-side Williamsburg spot. The evening brings $4 “mystery beers” and trivia rounds during commercials. Question No. 1: What lies in the shadow of the statue?
3. Bell House, 6:30 p.m.
This massive celebration of all things Lost is the sister event to the Knitting Factory’s weekly “Lost Therapy” (which will not take place on Sunday). It’s been sold out for some time, but this Craigslist dude looks promising. Bell House promises themed drinks and costumes, but more importantly Previously on Lost, the epic “recap rock” band, playing their greatest Lost-themed hits, like “Be My Constant” and “The Island Won’t Let You Die” for the last time. [SOLD OUT]
4. Fontana’s, 7 p.m.
Perhaps Manhattan’s most enthusiastic pitch is an evening of Lost madness, adorably titled “The Incident.” It sets sail (ouch) at 7 p.m. with a DVD raffle and happy hour. Drink options include the “Penny” Pincher (raspberry vodka and Sprite) or a “Jin” Fizz. The night also features some intense trivia and a viewing of the post-show, a/k/a Jimmy Kimmel’s “Aloha to Lost” special with creators Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelhof.
4. Southern Hospitality, 8 p.m.
The Justin Timberlake co-founded Southern Hospitality BBQ is keeping things real classy-like for the UES: $3 “island” shots!!! They’ve also got a trivia element, and a chance to win drinks and food. We’ve got our eye on the of-unknown-liquor-origin “Monster Frozen Beverage.”
5. Slate and 92Y, 8:30 p.m., $5
Hosted by Slate’s expert Lost TV Club, Chadwick Matlin (who reportedly taught a college course about Lost ), Seth Stevenson, and Juliet Lapidos (check that double-character-referencing real name!), the 92Y version of finale night includes a pre-show discussion and Q&A on Lost theory. There will be prizes for correct plot predictions at the end of the night.
6. Studio Square Beer Garden, 4 p.m., free
You know the deal by now: drink specials, raffle, and Lost-y foodstuffs. Astoria’s Studio Square is also hosting a costume contest, so start growing out that facial hair and practicing your “crazy Jack” eyes. Seats are limited; live music takes place from 4 to 7 p.m. After the show, there will be a Jimmy Kimmel special viewing and potential backgammon tournament. Now that’s digging deep — like season one deep.
7. Professor Thom’s, 6 p.m., free/$20
Prepare yourself for a full day of Lost-centric activities, including a daytime scavenger hunt at noon. (Sign your team up in advance here.) The winners receive a reserved booth and a Dharma-beer keg. Sunday night brings two separate parties: The free first-come, first-served event upstairs has its own drinking game (Jell-O shots for all every time Hurley says “Dude” or Desmond says “Brother”); The downstairs party is $20, but includes three drinks and a raffle ticket.
8. Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 10 p.m.
UCB’s Dharma Station comedy event is a one-night-only event during which an all-star group of upright citizens, including 30 Rock‘s Scott Adsit and SNL‘s Bobby Moynihan, are “transported” back to an active Dharma station and encounter the stars of Lost both live and via video. This one is technically sold out but there will be a standby line that night. Who knows, maybe it’s your destiny. [SOLD OUT]
If for some reason you insist on hosting your own event, at least have the decency to print out these Dharma stickers and put them on everything you own.