Although it’s not one of the targets of his modified sugar-sweetened beverage tax, Governor Paterson may want to consider setting Smoothie King’s Peanut Power Plus Grape “health” drink in his sights. The 40-ounce liquid gutbomb contains 1,498 calories, 44 grams of fat, and 54 teaspoons’ worth of sugar, according to a list Men’s Health has compiled of the best and worst “health” drinks. It’s excerpted from their Drink This, Not That book series, a spin-off of their exquisitely cringe-inducing Eat This, Not That series, which combines the pleasure of spectator sports with the horror of witnessing a tractor-trailer burst into flames on the freeway.
Also on the list of offenders: Snapple’s Agave Melon Antioxidant Water. Its roster of fancy ingredients is intended to distract you from the fact that a bottle of this so-called water contains 33 grams of sugar. While the list doesn’t reach the same nauseating heights as the specter of a glass of fat, anything that can make a can of Coke look like an actual health drink by comparison is still admirably sobering.