Study: Terrorists Potentially Causing Miscarriages Now, Too


According to a study in BMC Public Health published Monday, the terrorist attacks on September 11 may have contributed to miscarriages in the United States.

Researchers found the male fetal death rate increased in September 2001 and subsequently affected the ratio of boys born in a later month. Even without direct relationships with the deceased, pregnant women may have been distressed by the attacks, resulting in miscarriage, according to the research.

Well, yeah.

The typical monthly number of male fetal deaths is 995, but “for the month of September 2001, the number spiked to 1,115, and the actual number of miscarriages was likely higher because of under-reporting.”

Male fetuses have long been thought to be more sensitive to stress hormones — in natural disasters like the Kobe earthquake in 1995, for example, male births also declined. But for reasons even scientists don’t understand, females remain “relatively unaffected” by such stresses.

Let’s take a moment to flash-forward to 2031, when the 9-year-olds of today search fruitlessly for suitable, age-appropriate, halfway decent guys only to find themselves complaining incessantly to their gal pals over french fries and Cosmo-tinis about this asshole bin Laden who really fucked up the New York dating scene, but big time.

But if you settle, the terrorists have won … Right?