Brooklyn’s Largest Sandbox Opens Tomorrow, Will Become Union Pool for Brooklyn Toddlers


Big news, literally: Tomorrow, not only will ferry service between Brooklyn Bridge Park and Governor’s Island begin, but the park will also open up a new constructed portion to the public. Dare you ask what amazing things await the public in this new part of Brooklyn Bridge Park?

Via Brownstoner:

The 1.6-acre playground features “Swing Valley” and “Slide Mountain” along with three volleyball courts and a 6,000-square-foot sandbox, Brooklyn’s largest.

Yes, you read that correctly.


When finally liberated from the oppressive social indignities of their Bugaboo-pushing Co-Op shopping parents, Brooklyn’s toddlers will conceivably convene in the sandbox and discuss the issues of the day.

Did you see Sleigh Bells on Yo Gabba?
Is it just me, or have this season’s People’s Pops been sub-par?
Why is the New Yorker’s 20 Under 40 so ageist?

And so on.

Okay, actually, no. It’s gonna be a punch of kids slobbering on themselves while they stack cups of stand they think might look like castles which they will reflect on later in life as having just looked like cups of sand that were built with the sole intention of eventually destroying them, either at their own hands or the hands of a nearby, willing participant, like everything else in their lives. But until then, I’m sure “Swing Valley” will be a huge hit.