If you’ve watched a TV or seen a paper or glanced at a computer this week, there’s no way you haven’t heard about the hot-hot-hot lady banker who may have been too hot to bank. The whirlwind of responses to Elizabeth Dwoskin’s article, “Is This Woman Too Hot to Be a Banker?” from this week’s issue of the Voice have been incredible in both volume and variety. Take, for example, today’s piece in the New York Daily News, which posits, “The question isn’t whether Debrahlee Lorenzana was too sexy for her job. It’s where did she get that fabulous pushup bra?”
While we are fairly certain that is not indeed the question, we’ll humor it for a moment. The article goes on to reflect, somewhat confusingly, that Debrahlee’s Zara-plus-designer wardrobe is just like many of ours, that her turtleneck practically veers on convent-dowdy, and that Diane von Furstenberg dresses, frankly, look pretty fuckin’ good, like Joan-on-Mad Men good. (That’s how Diane makes the big bucks.)
Yet despite all of that,
The former Citibank worker says she was punished because her male co-workers couldn’t cope with her form-fitting fashion — a claim that left stylish New York women scratching their heads.
The head-scratching, presumably, is because New York women are now confronted with an insurmountable dilemma: Where the hell should we shop if not Zara? What’s a girl to wear? It’s a hard life we lead…knowing how to look cute, but not too cute; sexy enough to illicit comments from construction workers and perhaps be bought dinner every now and again, but not actually get fired from our jobs or harassed in shopping malls. The Daily News scrapes by without an actual answer, instead offering advice so scanty as to imperil its users with their own Debrahlee-esque firings:
As a rule, as long as your clothes fit properly, and hemlines don’t creep high enough to put on a peep show, and you’re not wearing flip-flops in any form — you’re golden.
Ah, if only it were that simple. Clothes, unfortunately, are nothing but trouble in today’s society. And the fact of the matter is that, much to our grave discontent, Debrahlee’s wardrobe is actually nothing like ours. Upon last count, Debrahlee has five closets full of designer clothes, not to mention an entire shoe closet with wall-to-ceiling shoes (and a dozen pairs of Uggs). (We are not envious of those.)
Just imagine the number of pushup bras a settlement from Citibank might buy.
With reporting from Elizabeth Dwoskin.