If you need any better indication that former Square Pegger turned Manhattan fashionista Sarah Jessica Parker may be nearing the end of the line, just look to the jolly green ogre named Shrek. Not even the promised return of sweet, dopey Aidan for Sex and the City 2 could stop Shrek 4 (is it really 4 now? We can’t keep track) from steamrolling SJP and her glam squad at the box office on opening weekend. Though SATC did rake in a not-too-shabby $37.1 million, the comedy crew at Upright Citizens Brigade have decided that it’s all over for the little girl from Ohio. Tonight, they give her a proper Celebrity Funeral, complete with teary, heartfelt eulogies and all the skeletons from Parker’s designer-laden closet. On behalf of all Footloose and Girls Just Want to Have Fun lovers out there, we’re pouring some 40 out for our homie.

Wed., June 16, 9:30 p.m., 2010