As the official fashion editors of the Voice, Araceli Cruz and Angela Ashman have a lot to say about what’s in, what’s out, and what’s spot-on for Diddy’s White Party. In the occasionally heated, occasionally catty, always fashion savvy back-and-forth that follows, they apply their expertise to last week’s massively popular cover story on former Citibanker Debrahlee Lorenzana, with particular attention to her salaciously professional slideshow photos.
Araceli: Hi, Angela.
Araceli: Let’s begin with this outfit on page 2 of the slideshow — who picked this dress out? It’s a little too J.Lo, circa 1996.
Angela: Is she auditioning for Victoria’s Secret?
Araceli: Does Victoria’s Secret also sell pasties? I do like, however that she’s paying tribute to her Boricuaness.
Angela: This is the outfit she chose to wear for the Voice‘s photo shoot. For someone who claims that she’s just a modest turtleneck-wearing woman who’s being punished for the fact that she happens to have killer curves and great cheekbones, this choice of dress pretty much undermines all of that. Does she work in a bank or a nightclub?
Araceli: Right, I suppose what she’s trying to demonstrate with that dress is that she’s, in fact, hot — in case we weren’t sure. It’s sort of what Rielle Hunter intended to do with her GQ photos, though her sex appeal had more of an ick element.
I do like the white skirt on page 3 — it’s a lot more in keeping with today’s business style, although I’ve never seen a blouse like that before. The ruffles are a bit too…well, something my mom would wear.
Angela: I agree, the ruffles are not helping.
Araceli: Photo 4 is, strikingly, so much better. It shows confidence and style without being tacky.
Angela: Right, this is from the photo shoot her lawyer set up for her lawsuit. This is what we are supposed to believe she wore to work. And she looks great! Not too revealing at all.
Araceli: Wait a second…she didn’t actually wear this outfit?
Angela: Well, her lawyer says she did, and she probably did. Then again, she also says she has five closets full of clothing, so we’re only seeing a very small sample of Debrahlee’s fashion sense here.
Araceli: I love this jacket and even her makeup here is so natural. Her lawyer must have a good stylist.
Angela: Some commenters questioned her decision to wear open-toed shoes to work. What do you think?
Araceli: Open-toed shoes are totally fine. Are we forgetting where we live? This is New York!
Angela: I agree. Unless she also has hot toes. That may be too distracting for the men at Citibank. Let’s move on to the dress she wore to her job interview in photo 5.
Araceli: Just because this dress is Armani does not mean it’s interview-appropriate. I’d wear it on a first date, not a first meeting with a potential boss.
Angela: Yes, it is a surprising choice for a job at a bank. I’d think a suit would be more appropriate. On to photo 6…here we see Debrahlee looking lovely by a file cabinet.
Araceli: Nice skirt length. Love the gray top (who knows what the front looks like?). This outfit demands a profile shot. Photo 11 intends to show that she’s a business traveler (or that she doesn’t like to carry her briefcase on the subway).
Angela: That’s a big briefcase! What does she have in there?
Araceli: Ritz Crackers. The turtleneck in photo 14 is probably from the “Va-Va-Voom!” collection.
Angela: This outfit definitely speaks to her point that it’s not easy being Debrahlee. I mean, every inch of skin is covered from the neck down and she still stops traffic.
Araceli: Isn’t black supposed to be slimming? The girl is cursed!
Angela: Yes. If she had stayed on at Citibank, they would have had to ban black from her wardrobe as well.
Angela: Moving on to photos 17 to 20...
Araceli: The black business skirt and jacket screams Amanda Woodward (a/k/a Heather Locklear in Melrose Place). She doesn’t take shit from no one!
Angela: Yes, as we can see in photo 18, she takes standing by the printer seriously.
Araceli: She’s like: This is how I make copies. I stand like this. And she’s an avid reader of the Wall Street Journal (photo 20).
Angela: But hold on…in photo 17, is she asking someone for the time? Shouldn’t she own a watch?
Araceli: That’s her “want to grab lunch at 2:15?” face.
Angela: Maybe she was fired for asking imaginary people the time?
Araceli: I feel bad now. What if we were photographed doing basic things around the office like gossiping or avoiding people in the elevator?
Angela: Um, Araceli, we don’t do those things, so this would never happen to us.
Araceli: Right, we never stick our butts out when getting a paper off a desk (photo 22!!)
Angela: Yeah, that photo says, You’re hired!
Araceli: YES! She should go work for Donald Trump!! He’d appreciate her assets like no one else.
Araceli: Out of all the outfits we’ve discussed today, the all-white outfit is the most demure. Her curves here aren’t like “bangin’,” which makes it more work-appropriate — and would also work perfectly for P. Diddy’s White Party (if she were working the door).
Angela: OK, but then look down…are those snakeskin heels?
Araceli: Again, were her shoes that distracting? It adds a bit of style, that’s all…at least she didn’t wear red shoes.
Angela: True. But I could see how snakeskin may not be very Citibank.
Araceli: She did say that Latinas dress up more at work by doing their nails and wearing heels. Should I ditch the flats? I think I might wear her Armani dress or the turtleneck outfit and see what reaction I get here at the Voice. Though I can tell you right now, no one will care! Now, if Musto wore that, he’d get a standing ovation.
Angela: Someone call the art department!