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• Prepare to feel depressed: According to new estimates, “an amount equivalent to the Exxon Valdez disaster could be flowing into the Gulf of Mexico every 8 to 10 days.” Ugh. President Obama is asking to meet with BP execs next week, and Congress is pressuring BP to stop paying shareholders until they confirm they can pay for the spill. Meanwhile, now the British are backlashing against us!
• Joran van der Sloot says he knows where Natalee Holloway’s remains are, but that he’ll only testify before authorities in Aruba.
• The current price for squeezing someone’s balls in prison? $300,000. At least, that’s the settlement a former inmate of Arthur Kill state prison on Staten Island got after a guard “crunched his testicles.” (Hey, just quoting the Post.)
• The public to Shepard Fairey, re: his much maligned mural on Houston: “Bring Back the Haring.”
• There is much unhappiness over a proposed plan to turn an empty convent into a mosque on Staten Island.
• Ooh, Shakespeare-in-the-Park-lovin’ scalpers are busted; Cuomo puts a stop to ticket sales on Craiglist.
• There’s a giant neighborhood sidewalk sale in Red Hook tomorrow. And if you don’t like anything there, you always have Ikea.