Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz will join protesters this Sunday in rallying against the city’s decision to close the “Double-D” public pool in Gowanus this summer for budgetary reasons — apparently keeping the pool shuttered will save the city $200,000, but will make the 40,000 people who used it last year very irritable. And hot. And irritable.
Marty is going the extra mile (he always does!) and will even shed his double-breasted blazer and slip into some swim trunks (“Don’t worry, no Speedo!” his press aide said to the Brooklyn Paper) for the cause. Which means the photo ops will be rather amazing.
Marty, allow us to suggest a few looks for you?
These, from Esquire’s 2009 Best Swim Trunks for Men, are quite unique, and would highlight your coveted “apple bottom” nicely:
We know you said no Speedos, but these offer the swimwear-maker’s trademark fit with a little more coverage than the traditional banana hammock. Great for showcasing those muscular thighs!
These, from Esquire’s 2010 Best Men’s Bathing Suits round-up, are quite festive. Per the editors, “The reason even a fat man can pull off a bold pattern? Because you’re on vacation, not swimming laps at the pool, and nothing says ‘I’m not working’ better than lemons on your ass.”
Just ask any local hipster: Sometimes prison-retro-with-fedora is really the very best way to make a statement.
We’ll talk about your footwear later.