Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. Jon Ward reports on The Daily Caller that Representative Joe Barton was told by House Republican leaders that “he would be stripped of his ranking member status on a key committee Thursday if he did not immediately apologize for comments earlier in the day accusing President Obama of a ‘shakedown’ of oil giant BP.”
“He was told, ‘Apologize, immediately. Or you will lose your position, immediately,” a House GOP leadership aide said, describing a meeting between Barton and House Minority Leader John Boehner and House Minority Whip Eric Cantor.
So, he did. And just like that, the BP apology count rises again. This is becoming rather meta, as people apologize for apologies that weren’t good enough apologies, or apologies that were taken the wrong way despite being fairly solid apologies, or apologies that looked like apologies but were really just apologetic-like and not really apologies. Or foreign apologies, which are just, like, asking to be mocked by the American people.
God, we’re actually starting to respect the highly questionable Perez Hilton for manning up and owning his assholeness.
In addition to apologizing Thursday afternoon in the flesh, Barton also had to apologize in a formal statement, part of which read as follows:
“I apologize for using the term ‘shakedown’ with regard to yesterday’s actions at the White House in my opening statement this morning, and I retract my apology to BP,” Barton said. “I regret the impact that my statement this morning implied that BP should not pay for the consequences of their decisions and actions in this incident.”
This could go on for days, and probably will.
At least some enterprising Internet soul has already come up with the Joe Barton automated apology-maker, apologies of which include…to “AT&T for unrealistically expecting to make phone calls with a phone,” to “God, for killing off his noble bacteria with the scourge of antibiotics,” and to “the Confederacy for taking all your slaves away. totally a shakedown move on our part. sorry.”
Now, everyone else should apologize for not being funnier in their apologies. Lame.