It’s Hot Outside, But It’s Only Going to Get Hotter, Hottie


We’ve heard a lot of moaning and groaning about how unbelievably sweltering it is out there on this not even July day, and we hate to break it to you, but… It’s not just that today’s hotter. The whole WORLD is getting hotter. And those of us who live in cities, well, we’re pretty much getting the hottest. Which we kinda knew anyway.

Per Discovery News,

Not only do cities retain more heat than rural areas do…hot cities will grow even hotter as the climate warms and cities grow. By mid-century, nighttime temperatures in cities could rise by more than 10 degrees Fahrenheit.

Let’s break that down. So, right now, a pretty balls-hot kind of day in which even the fridge is having trouble staying cool — and, full disclosure, we were drenched in sweat walking the five blocks to the office — it’s 90 degrees. And, says the Weather Channel, it feels like 90 degrees. Which feels…hot.

In 2050, when we are older and slower and have to bootleg our freon to get around persnickety legal regulators, our 90-degree end-of-June day would be a 100-degree June day. Can’t wait for August!

Also, since it will get hotter and stay hotter, temperatures won’t cool down at night (not that old trope has worked much ’round these parts lately anyway). Cities, you see, create an “urban heat effect,” which means all of our buildings and cars and fleshy, breathing bodies just insulate the heat we create. Yay.

According to Richard Betts, a climate scientist at the United Kingdom’s Met Office, “We have to prepare to live in a warmer world.”

The good news: Our bodies burn calories faster in warmer weather, so we really will be a bunch of smokin’ hot hotties. Until the Ice Age hits.