Here Is A World-Record-Seizing Rap Song Containing 30 References to Potatoes, Which You Can Hear Live Tonight At Joe’s Pub


“I pioneered a subgenre of rap called ‘potato rhyming.’ My name’s ToTs, and I rap about potatoes.”

And so the legend begins. Michael “ToTs” Heagerty has officially beaten all you slackers to setting the world record for “Most Potato References in a Rap Song.” The song is called “Crispy,” the first single off his Kickstarter-funded debut album, The Coup de Tots, to be released later this year. But why, Michael Heagerty, why do you rap about potatoes and not their delicious, incredibly underrated cousin, yams? He responds only with a question: “If you can go back 10 days, can you tell me the truth and say you haven’t had a potato in some form?

Tonight, Tots performs “Crispy” alongside DJ Mix Master Mash at Joe’s Pub in junction with the World Record Appreciation Society. Just for reference, here is the full lineup:

Writer/Performer Elna Baker (The Talent Show, This American Life)
Comedian Cory Calvin (Late Night with Jimmy Fallon)
Magician Richie Magic (Ripley’s Believe It or Not, The Marriage Ref)
Writer/Director Todd Lamb (Loud People, Notes from Chris)
Rapper Tots feat. Mix Master Mash – Most Potato References In A Rap Song
Matt Reynolds – Most The Big Lebowski Catchphrases Recited In One Minute
Alex Young – Most Red Plastic Solo Cups Held Against Wall Using Body
Ay Buim – Most Gallagher VHS Tapes Smashed With A Sledgehammer In One Minute