The New Spider-Man: Andrew Garfield, Who You’ve Never Heard Of


Important New York superhero Spider-Man will no longer be portrayed in movies by Tobey Maguire, because Spider-Man 2 was so goddamn amazing it just didn’t really matter, is why. No Spider-Man movie with Tobey Maguire in it was going to get any better. So now, they’re restarting the franchise, and we’ve got this guy.

Deadline Hollywood reports via Sony:

After a comprehensive worldwide casting search, Andrew Garfield has been chosen to portray Peter Parker when Spider-Man swings back onto the screen in 3D on July 3, 2012. The new film will begin production in early December directed by Marc Webb from a screenplay by James Vanderbilt. Laura Ziskin and Avi Arad will produce the film from Columbia Pictures and Marvel Studios.

Scarfboy‘s gonna be in the Aaron Sorkin-penned, David Fincher-directed Facebook tell-all movie, The Social Network, Mark Romanek’s new Never Let Me Go, and was also in Heath Ledger’s final movie, the Terry Gilliam-directed The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. He’s very hunky. And, uh, what else? Deadline Hollywood, anything more to add?

Skeptics should watch his heartbreaking performance in Boy A, playing a character trying to outrun his involvement in a heinous crime that took place during his childhood.

Sounds depressing. Whatever, he’s gonna be in a mask half the time anyway. And nothing will be better than Spider-Man 2. I’m serious.

That’s all.