Jersey Quadruple Threat “The Situation” Launches Bizarrely Successful Brand of Self


Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, one of the Jersey Shore stars on our recent cover, is ready to help you look more like him. Think you can handle it? He’s launching NoX Edge (on Twitter), a pre-workout tablet designed to help people get the most out of their gym time. Publicizing his new supplement gives Sorrentino even more opportunities (as if he needs them) to show off his tanned and toned abdominals. And since he was so classy about our Queer Issue cover photo situation, we thought we’d give his abs one more spotlight moment in this post. Mmmhmm, ladies, that’s for you.

The launch of his new supplement comes only weeks after the announcement of his new clothing line. Meanwhile, JWOWW, or Jenni Farley, released her line today, prompting Gawker to ask the obvious question, “Which is the Sluttiest Outfit from JWOWW’s New Clothing Line?” Answer: Every look is atrociously slutty and will likely earn wearers the nastiest of STDs. Maybe Farley released her line first to get back at The Situation for that time he wouldn’t carry her back to the house when she was puking at the club. Either way, it’s not like they’ll be in competition; we fully expect that the lines will actually compliment each other nicely. The Situation’s is a collaboration with Ed Hardy-esque brand, Dilligaf (which stands for Do I Look Like I Give a Fuck). We’re guessing he doesn’t.

“Dilligaf’s followers and the Sitch are kindred spirits. Anyone who watches his show knows that he is all about living life to the fullest and enjoying every day.” Jodi Massry, president, Dilligaf by Bohica Bill, says in a statement. “We approached him because we knew we would be a perfect fit. His style is unparalleled, his creativity unending!”

Unending creativity might not be the first thing that comes to mind with Sorrentino, but in the fleeting world of reality TV, he’s maintained some kind of sustainable flow. Last year, when the Sitch first became a little famous, people assumed it would be a 15-minute situation. Now, the lead-up to the Jersey Shore’s second season has many in an anticipatory guido-frenzy, and it seems generally accepted that the cast of hard-boozing Jersey-ites isn’t dissolving into the oblivion anytime soon.

Even if the show were to disappear, Sorrentino would leave behind so many fans dressing like him, eating vitamins like him, and even smelling like him (if the “Sitch” cologne is more than a media-repeated rumor) that we could never, ever forget about him. At least not right away.

As if all this wasn’t enough, the show’s book, Gym, Tanning, Laundry, is full of his oft-repeated quotes, “G.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry,” and he has a Vitamin Water commercial with Mets player, David Wright. The Situation is a brand among men. When does he find time to hit the gym and pick up girls?

If you need an immediate sample of his physical and entrepreneurial prowess, here’s the Situation’s Vitamin Water commercial…it’s worth two minutes of your life, four if you can’t help but watch it twice.