A Twitter Guide to Surviving Lady Gaga’s Three Sold-Out Shows at Madison Square Garden

According to popular myth, a young Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta wrote in her Convent of the Sacred Heart high school yearbook that her career goal was to perform at Madison Square Garden. Last night, it happened, as Germanotta–who grew up to become Lady Gaga–took the stage at MSG for the first of three sold-out concerts at the venue this week (the second is tonight; the third, Friday). The trending topic #madisonsquaregaga pretty much immediately broke Twitter; meanwhile it was total pandemonium in the streets up in midtown, as little monsters and those who hate little monsters anxiously commingled. Want to know how to survive the next two shows? Read on.

Attempt as best you can to blend in with the natives.

It will help dudes like this recognize who you are and why you’ve come.

On the other hand, if you see this guy coming your way, run–or, should you be with let’s say more than five of your closest friends, feel free to make him run.

Lady Gaga had a concert @ MSG tonight and she most likely brought out every fag in the tri-state

— Bobby Johnson (@JussBlaze8) July 7, 2010

Eat crazy, untenable combinations of food and alcohol!

About to head to MSG to see Lady GaGa! Fueling up first on martinis and falafals.

— april daniels hussar (@aprilhussar) July 7, 2010

Men take note.

In line at the Lady Gaga MSG concert. There’s a guy wearing a Jeter Yankees jersey & no pants in front of me. I like his style…

— Alex Kramers (@alexkramers) July 6, 2010

Bring extra camera batteries.

My camera batteries died just after the spark-throwing bra and panty combo was busted out. #madisonsquaregaga

— Brittany (@BrittanyMoney) July 7, 2010

So does a spare fire extinguisher.

“When they ask how I was you can say ‘SHE SET HER FUCKING TITS ON FIRE!'” #madisonsquaregaga

— Amanda Sales (@Scamandalous) July 7, 2010

Bring someone you love, obviously.

Being Terry Richardson always helps.

And definitely make sure to get money before you take your pants off.

Even monsters have to use the bank http://twitpic.com/233hcf #madisonsquaregaga

— Brolley (@brollman123) July 7, 2010