A Twitter Guide to Surviving Lady Gaga’s Three Sold-Out Shows at Madison Square Garden

According to popular myth, a young Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta wrote in her Convent of the Sacred Heart high school yearbook that her career goal was to perform at Madison Square Garden. Last night, it happened, as Germanotta–who grew up to become Lady Gaga–took the stage at MSG for the first of three sold-out concerts at the venue this week (the second is tonight; the third, Friday). The trending topic #madisonsquaregaga pretty much immediately broke Twitter; meanwhile it was total pandemonium in the streets up in midtown, as little monsters and those who hate little monsters anxiously commingled. Want to know how to survive the next two shows? Read on.

Attempt as best you can to blend in with the natives.

It will help dudes like this recognize who you are and why you’ve come.

On the other hand, if you see this guy coming your way, run–or, should you be with let’s say more than five of your closest friends, feel free to make him run.