Size Queens Are So Ridiculous Already!


I’m so tired of hearing stuff like, “Ooh, that guy’s got such a huge one!” (said while the speaker’s eyes are turning cartwheels and his tongue is hitting the doggie doo on the pavement).

Or, similarly, a straight guy gushing, “Look at the gigantic knockers on that babe” (uttered while drool emits from the guy’s liver lips in a rather undignified manner and hair starts growing out of his eyeballs.)

Whatever happened to the appreciation of quality?

Is it so important that a genital be large when it would be much more delightful if it was just nice? Or sexy? Or action-packed?

Everything in this culture is so overly focused on the big, from movies to real estate to vajayjays and beyond.

I feel that we all act like size queens just because we’ve been conditioned to do so, whereas what we really want is something good, but we’re afraid to say so.

Well, I’m not afraid: I am not a size queen!

There, I said it.