CNN: ‘No One Is Interested In Sex’ at World Cup


The hookers are starving! Everyone believed that the sudden appearance of thousands of testosterone-oozing nationalists in South Africa would be a boon to the sex trade. As it turns out, no one is horny. Or they’re just more interested in seeing art galleries and museums. What a classy bunch.

“No one is interested in sex at the moment. I think we’ve had three customers who traveled here for the World Cup which has seen my group’s business drop by 80 percent. I enjoyed watching the games, but I can’t wait for everyone to just go home now!” the madam, who works under the alias of “Tori,” added.

And what a let down that is: upon the start of the tournament “it was feared that up to 40,000 extra prostitutes could converge in the host nation to meet the expected demand.” Instead, it’s all been a learning experience, nudity not required.

But where one industry declined because of the change in soccer fans’ tastes, another has boomed — cultural centers such as museums and art galleries have reported record attendance.

Wayde Davy, deputy director of Johannesburg’s Apartheid Museum, said visitors to see the exhibitions on South Africa’s struggle against racial inequality had never been so good.

But there’s still time. The championship match is tomorrow; hopefully everyone will reach climax together.

Soccer fans shun hookers for art’s sake [CNN]