Breaking: Holy Crap, the Oil Leak in the Gulf May Be Contained


Can it be? Dare we to believe? Say it’s so! Brett Michael Dykes at Yahoo! News reports that “A tweet from the PBS NewsHour Twitter feed probably sums it up best: ‘BREAKING: There does not appear to be oil flowing into the Gulf of Mexico.’ This, of course, would indicate that BP’s latest effort to contain the gushing well with a containment cap is working.”

Oh, but we’ve been misled before by those oil bigwigs, like when they said everything was safe and the oil spill was teeny-tiny and told us they cared about the little people. So we’ll take the news that the oil spill is Maybe, Definitely, Probably, Hopefully contained with a large grain of something boozy, and we’ll pray that it’s true, or at least keep our fingers crossed.

Even BP doesn’t want to jump the gun, and has said in a statement:

“The sealing cap system never before has been deployed at these depths or under these conditions, and its efficiency and ability to contain the oil and gas cannot be assured.”

Secretly, however, you know they’re patting each others’ backs and sharing a pint and guffawing while covering their mouths in that obnoxious British fashion, because if BP actually managed to do something right and before their self-stated deadline of July 27, they have pulled off quite the coup indeed. I mean, people might even forget about that whole oil-ruining-the-ocean thing and start hating on another company that helps destroy the planet as day-to-day business. Well, maybe not right away.

Here’s a video of the cap cutting off the oil flow. The magic happens about eight seconds in.

Man, if this really works, what’s @BPGlobalPR gonna do?