Jesus, Lady Gaga Fan, Arrested for Not Chilling Out on That Whole “Penis” Thing


Remember that whole Lady Gaga Penis Conspiracy? It was basically the “Birther” Movement of Pop Culture and the only thing that distinguished the two was that Lady Gaga’s Penis Conspiracy Theorists are far more interesting, compelling, and genuinely sane characters than Orly Taitz. Also, they were probably closer to the truth. Regardless, it faded away, because it was a joke, and jokes aren’t funny if you actually begin to believe them, or something.

I’m not sure what this has to do with some guy getting arrested for pulling out his dick and rubbing it on Lady Gaga fans in front of The Today Show, but it seemed important to note.

In the New York Post‘s police blotter from this morning:

A Lady Gaga fan was sexually abused while waiting on line for the singer’s performance in Rockefeller Plaza, police sources said yesterday. Jesus Romano, 38, of Queens allegedly unbuttoned his pants and rubbed against the 19-year-old woman while she was waiting to see Gaga perform on NBC’s “Today Show” at 8 a.m. Friday. The victim turned around and videotaped the man before alerting police. Cops arrested Romano, who was charged with sexual abuse, forcible touching and public lewdness.

Apparently, Jesus has a prior for being pervy before, but honestly, this kind of sounds like it (maybe, possibly,) could be one of two things:

(A) Lady Gaga getting someone named Jesus to get funky with his dick before one of her shows. Provocative! Also: Art. Or

(B) Today Show resident drunks Hoda and Kathy Lee are playing Truth or Dare again.

Conspiracy! The truth is out there.