Parents! You can’t trust ’em! Just when you think you’re all getting along fine and they’ve finally come to accept you for who you are (single or not) and dropped that whole woe-is-me routine about never having grandchildren, you find out they’ve started a website to find you a match. Oy. Take Geri Brin, recently of New York Post fame, whose son, Colby, may have worse problems than being 31 and single (Geri, haven’t you heard: 31 is the new 23! Also, “Colby“?).
However, this mother and son (she’s an Internet entrepreneur, which may explain things a scratch), also work together, which gives us no uncertain case of the willies. We’d say something about apron strings but that’s some dated terminology if there ever was, so we’ll just say: Sometimes, mother-and-son closeness is not the boon you think it might be.
Poor Colby has been fixed up by his mom for years, including with a saleswoman who worked at the upholstery shop she used to re-cover her sofa, and her dental hygienist’s friend’s daughter, who wore a ton of makeup and lived all the way over in Queens.
What’s cute about the story, though, is that Colby seems to get that his mom’s a little…shall we say…dedicated and even has a sense of humor about it:
“One thing about my mom,” Colby joked, “she has perseverance. I can picture her on her death bed…choking out the words, ‘Colby, did you call that girl?’ before fading into darkness.”
Which probably means he’ll make someone an honest woman someday, even if he is a self-professed Momma’s boy.
So far, there are 20-some parents purveying their adult kids on the Date My Single Kid section of Fab Over Fifty. We checked it out and it’s actually rather sweet in a Mom-please-get-off-my-back kind of way. For example, take the case of Bill, 46, whose mom offers this fascinating description of her progeny:
Bill is a “tree hugger.” He should have been an adult during the “Hippy Era.” He can put everything he owns in his backpack — a small one at that! Presently, he is in partnership with a bio-diesel station in Monterey, CA., and sells all-electric cars. He has given up climbing trees in Northern California to get supplies to tree sitters. He is terribly brilliant, and could be anything he wanted to be (he has chosen to be the devil’s advocate). He truly believes in Global Warming (I vehemently don’t), has been editor of a publication with the objective of getting rid of asphalt and all oil products in California. He’s a very good carpenter as well as grant writer. In 1994, he was the first person to roller blade across the U.S. wearing out three dozen sets of wheels in the process. He travels a lot, and even hitches a ride on trains in and out of Canada. He has had no steady income until now. He even has to pay taxes. He’s an interesting, sympathetic person who is quiet, but does love to argue.
Or what about Gillian, 35?
My kid is fab because she works many hard hours rehabilitating sex offenders. She is also raising a little girl by herself, and doing a wonderful job of it too. Besides she is really attractive but because of her job doesn’t have the chance to meet anyone. She doesn’t drink so no meeting anyone at a bar, which I’m grateful for. She paid to get her Masters Degree will she worked full time. I think she is so put together. Gillian would be an asset to any man. She’ll also hate me for writing this.
Moms! See, they get it, they just can’t help it. Also, they think we’re all beautiful, so you have to appreciate that. In fact, the more we look at the site, the more we sort of love Geri, and Colby’s growing on us, too. If you happen to be the parent of an adult kid you feel has been single for too long and
want to torture him/her think he/she really needs your help, check it out. But M., don’t even go there. You heard us.