Today in spy news, get this: There’s another, previously unheard of spy in the mix! A 12th spy! As Tom Robbins pointed out, “The Third Man” is so the right soundtrack for this whole fiasco. The new spy is 23, which means the chances of him being hot are, well, pretty good. Youth is attractive, after all. And he’s a he, which we need for some gender equality in the hottie-spy circuit. Unfortunately, he’s already being deported.
Per the New York Times,
The 12th individual, a 23-year-old Russian citizen who was not identified, was detained on immigration charges, the official said. The man has not been charged and is in the process of being deported. It was not clear when he was taken into custody.
Also, his spy creds are even more paltry than the rest of the gang:
A law enforcement official said investigators were not able to gather enough evidence to bring criminal charges against the man, and federal authorities handling the case came to the conclusion that his case was different from that of the 11 people charged with being Russian agents last month, although the law enforcement official did not say how. That official also said it was unclear whether the young man had undergone training similar to that of the others who were arrested.
But we’ll take what we can get. Meanwhile, hottest spy Anna Chapman is reportedly thinking about selling her story to the British tabs, where her ex-husband already outed her sexual proclivities. Only problem is, her plea agreement stipulates that she give the U.S. government any cash she makes from selling her story, and after we kicked her out of the country and ruined her online real estate business, she’s probably not in favor of handing her money over to the feds. But, since we sent her to Russia, enforcing that aspect of the agreement becomes an issue.
Personally, we’d suggest she ignore the tabs and go the high end route with a memoir — even Sonia Sotomayor is writing one! And, as you can see in the teaser below, in which the girl from Coyote Ugly becomes a CIA agent, we’re woefully short on good spy stories right now.
Did she say “Christian La-boo-tayns”?