Real Estate Company Invents New Manhattan Neighborhood


You know all those little pockets of alleyways and small streets in New York you typically just appellate “no man’s land”? The Manhattan Times reports that we now have a new (presumed) neighborhood in one of those little gray areas to mark an approximately two-block radius section of Upper Manhattan next to Fort Tryon Park, which is basically a real estate company’s way of saying, “It’s not Harlem! Come live here!” The name of our new rent-hiked ‘hood? “Cloister Park.”

The mastermind behind it all, Stein-Perry Real Estate, claims that Cloister Park sits at the foot of the Cloisters, stretching north from the intersection of Bennett Avenue and Broadway, west of Bogardus Place and south of Dyckman Street. Here’s a map:

Isn’t that cute? And it’s next to a park! And as the article says, to attract new homeowners, the newly renovated Stein-Perry Real Estate apartments are all “environmentally friendly”!

Matthew Bizzarro of Stein-Perry Real Estate told Manhattan Times, “Units in Cloister Park have experienced a 500 to 600 percent increase in real estate prices over the past five years.”

The price of gentrification in Upper Manhattan is steep — even if you are on a triple-digit street subway stop.

It seems that New Yorkers just love to name new neighborhoods. Last month, the Daily News tried to coin “The Linc” for the area surrounding everyone’s favorite traffic jam, Lincoln Tunnel. And New York Mag once tried hard to make “NoMad” happen for the area North of Madison Square Park.

We were thinking we needed a new name for the area surrounding the Village Voice offices. BowCoopMarkHous? AlphaHousCoop? SoCoopHous? SoClose2NYUFuck?

We’ll work on it.