Pitchfork is having a good week. Yesterday, our pal Jon Caramanica wrote a piece in the New York Times suggesting the website had pretty much fully arrived as a “hegemon of taste,” in the words of one super-fan. This weekend, the publication will host its annual music festival out in Chicago. And in between, Twitter has come alive with the #p4kfestpickuplines hashtag, a perhaps too-real look into the grimy psyches of music critics the country over. Let’s follow along, shall we? (By the way, anything with the word “fuck” in it was disqualified, because come the fuck on.)
#p4kfestpickuplines: “You can call my penis my little hype machine if you want, but I prefer to call it Chris Weingarten.”
— grayson haver currin (@currincy) July 15, 2010
We were going to disqualify the word “penis,” too, but then someone put it in a sentence with “Chris Weingarten” and all our objections went right out the window.
#p4kfestpickuplines I can usually Fitzmaurice a girl on first try. Just sayin’.
— Adam Heathcott (@adamheathcott) July 15, 2010
The chillwave god gets turned into a dirty verb.
#p4kfestpickuplines: “Let’s pretend we’re in that Girls video, OK?”
— grayson haver currin (@currincy) July 15, 2010
This Girls video. Grayson Currin is obviously running away with this thing.
Are you a watermark? Because you look like you’re wet to me. #p4kfestpickuplines #disgusting
— Larry Fitzmaurice (@lfitzmaurice) July 15, 2010
This is why you turn down that Forkcast job when they offer it to you.
Nice brightly-colored Wayfarer knock-offs. Do you like chill-wave?#p4kfestpickuplines
— Mr. Jackpots (@changingmyplea) July 15, 2010
Ditto, sadly.
“I love your American Apparel romper, but it would look even better on the floor next to my turntable.” #p4kfestpickuplines
— Austin Hell Ray (@austinlouisray) July 15, 2010
Have fun out there, kids!