By now, surely, you’ve heard of Paul the Psychic Octopus, who predicted eight out of eight World Cup games correctly? Well, Paul is German, or at least inhabits a German aquarium via the luck of the draw. But when Spain won the World Cup final (as he predicted), they got really excited and thought they might adopt Paul — after all, there were some in Germany who wanted to kill and eat him after he predicted their loss! And who better than Spain to introduce Paul to the joys of tapas, afternoon siestas, lovely octopus ladies, and Basque wines? Plus, “pulpo” is a way cuter word than “tintenfisch.”
In a show of love for Paul:
• Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero offered to send a security team to protect Paul from the vicious Germans.
• O Carballino, a northwestern Spanish town, wanted to borrow (and adore) Paul. When Germany said no, they declared him their “honorary friend.”
• A businessman from the same town offered $40,000 to buy Paul. (C’mon, Paul is worth millions!)
• The Madrid Zoo asked the aquarium if they’d make a deal to bring him in as a tribute to the Spanish victory (they proposed an exchange of animals).
Germany said no, no, no, no!
Per Sea Life spokeswoman Kerstin Kuehn:
“It’s totally out of the question to sell Paul or lend him out,” she said in an e-mail. “Paul will enjoy his greatly deserved retirement in Sea Life in Oberhausen.”