What does a clown making animal balloons, an SLR camera, a plane taking off, a doctor looking into a microscope, another clown, kids playing video games, and a poodle in a tuxedo all have in common? No, it’s not LiLo’s first night in jail, it’s a HuffPo slideshow!
The slideshow in question is meant to demonstrate “Alternative Ways to Pay Off Your Student Loan Debt” — because you need to visualize all the ways you will never make very much money. As if “Clown School” as an option does not already speak for itself.
Welcome to the mysterious world of Huffington Post slideshows: full of pictures that arbitrarily source from the content in the caption. Images need not serve the coherence of the piece and merely occupy space with visual fillers that can never live up to the universality they imply. I often find myself wondering — why on earth is this a slideshow? HuffPo could save everyone a little time without the messy click-throughs and rating systems that take forever to load, especially when the value of their written content is…debatable.
But, slideshows “get hits,” so the Huffington Post continues churn out hundreds of these uninspired manifestations. Some are worse than others. I’ve put together a slideshow of HuffPo click-throughs that are particularly worthless, hopefully with better captions.
Have you ever wondered what a “Turkey Dump” looks like? Probably. But it’s actually impossible to visualize because it’s a concept, not a standardized image. “Turkey Dump” refers to a supposedly popular college slang term for when a freshman returns home for Thanksgiving Break to dump his or her boy/girlfriend. However, HuffPo believes it necessary to caption a picture of a Thanksgiving feast with its definition to symbolize that a Turkey Dump happens during Thanksgiving. Thank. You. Huff. Po.
Travel Tips from a Worrywart
Really get to know your insect repellent… by spraying it in your face. The rest of this slide is filled with pictures of other worrywarts “worrying” about other things worrywarts worry about. 7 Things You Thought You Knew About Introverts
Don’t assume introverts are stuck up and arrogant, even if they are dressed in sparkling flapper dresses, seated on a red velvet bench, and staring at you with the eyes of judgment day. And don’t assume introverts are lonely, even when all the pictures used to demonstrate them picture one person, alone, staring off into the abyss.
Do You Have a Drinking Problem? 12 Questions to Ask Yourself
Not to mention HuffPo’s hideous Web MD-ing, this, ladies and gentlemen, is the universal face of jealousy. A woman. Staring, a bit confused. 5 Tips to Empower and Inspire Children for Success
“Oh you know, just workin’ 9 to 5 with Legos, the building blocks to my future.”
Alternative Ways To Pay Off Your Student Loan Debt
Yet another gem from the aforementioned slideshow, and this one is particularly inventive. They knew they could never find an image that would appropriately demonstrate the concept of “cyber begging,” so they had to make one by mixing a black and white image of a creepy “beggar” hand with a color photo. Reasons To Miss College In the Summer
One reason to miss college in the summer is that “everything is so much easier when there are people your age who are going through the same things you are,” for example, as pictured, teething.
The list could go on, but I feel like I’m teething, myself. I’m on to search for slideshows with pictures that actually serve a purpose.