Parasailing Donkey Teaches Russian Entrepreneurs a Valuable Lesson


You know the key to successful advertising? It should be: a) memorable, and b) help you remember the product, in, like, a positive way that will actually make you buy it. A parasailing donkey, unless it’s an animated parasailing donkey enjoying himself immensely while sucking on a Coors Light and surrounded by hot donkey babes, only fulfills one of those requirements. This valuable lesson in Advertising 101 was taught hands-on in southern Russia recently when local entrepreneurs sent a poor, defenseless donkey sailing over the Sea of Azov for half an hour in an alleged attempt to promote parasailing, despite the weeping of children and protests of any adults who had half a brain between them.

Here’s video of the ill-advised event. Don’t watch if you’re particularly sensitive to donkey injustice (FYI: The donkey survives).

Hear that? “Witnesses report hearing the terrified animal braying as it flew over the sea for half an hour before landing in the water and being dragged for several meters.” Now, who’s up for some parasailing?

Officials may bring animal cruelty charges against the idiot behind the scheme, which could mean two years in prison — except that he and his donkey have now “disappeared,” according to the Moscow Times. Additionally, the parasailing business has denied that the stunt was a promotion for parasailing and is instead saying that the owner of the donkey wanted the animal “sent aloft for an unspecified purpose.”

Likely story. And in any case, there is no good reason for a donkey to parasail, unless it asks to specifically, and uses the word “please.”