That’s the headline of a real press release that went out just moments ago.
You can’t make this shit up, people.
The release continues like so:
“Michael Musto will serve as guest judge for the Puppetry of the Penis open casting call, alongside the show’s current stars Rich Binning and Gavin Stewart.
“Puppetry of the Penis is searching for new talent to star in productions around the world.
“The open call will be held on Tuesday, July 27 from 11:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m. at the Green Room Theater at 45 Bleecker.
” ‘Michael Musto has a tremendous eye for talent and never shies away from voicing his opinions,’ said producer David Foster. ‘We are honored and delighted to have him.’
“Those who wish to audition must RSVP to email@example.com.”
Oh, and be prepared to effortlessly twist your genitals into stuff like the Hamburger, the Eiffel Tower, the Wristwatch, and the Loch Ness monster.
Don’t worry how big it is, as long as it’s malleable.