This afternoon, we published our own theory on the potential financial voodoo that would ensue after the cast of Jersey Shore rang the opening bell on the New York Stock Exchange: The Guido Effect. “Brilliant!” noted the New York Observer. Flavorwire wondered if it was “too late to invest” in Guido-friendly stocks. Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman…had no comment.
So, were we right? We brought in an expert to find out.
The theory we put forth involved a dip in the markets because holy christ the Jersey Shore creatures are ringing in the NYSE but also, due to the fascination with them by the American populace at-large, G.T.L. (or the classic “Guido” routine of Gym, Tan, and Laundry)-related futures would see an uptick.
We got in touch with CNBC senior editor John Carney for his take on what we had to offer. Without further ado, John?
Your GTL index is brilliant. On a day when the S&P 500 and the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed more or less flat, the GTL stocks you picked outperformed the markets. In some cases dramatically. Let’s start with the G: the fitness product company Nautilus is up 7.91% for the day. Energizer is up 9.9%. Even the giant consumer products company, Procter & Gamble outperformed, with a rise of 0.9%.
If you bought the GTL Index yesterday, in anticipation of the Jersey Shore hitting the New York Stock Exchange, you had a very good day.
Academics tell us that there’s not relationship between stock performance and ringing the opening bell. But then again, the academics who did those studies probably never fist-pumped with JWoww, Snooki, The Situation or Pauli D.
Look for yourselves! Visualized proof!
Fist-pump, indeed. Carney further explained his findings of our theory over at CNBC. Paul Krugman, watch your ass. You’ve got to step up your game if you want to land another Nobel Prize for Economics. If we haven’t already made ourselves clear, we’re coming up on you.