News & Politics

Mike Bloomberg Issues Ultimatum: “It’s Geese or Human Beings”

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You’ve probably heard that a whole bunch of Canada geese were exterminated earlier this month, since they have an unfortunate tendency, when not minding their own business in Prospect Park, to occasionally fly into planes. Even poor Sticky, the goose shot with an arrow who was chased around for days by humans who wanted to “help” him, apparently succumbed to the death squad. Afterward, a lot of people went through the many stages of grief, including denial, anger, sadness, and drinking to cope with loss. But Mike Bloomberg, not so much.

Per the Wall Street Journal:

“Look, the Department of Agriculture has to deal with the fact that all these geese are a danger to people flying,” he said. “People are not going to stop flying and we have to make a decision. It’s geese or human beings — I can tell you where I come out on that.”

Eek, that is exactly the kind of ultimatum that’s going to make the animals rise up against us and take over the world! Um, didn’t you read Animal Farm? You know that Sticky walked around for days with an arrow through his neck, right? Are you really that kind of tough?

Hey, geese: Runnin’ Scared will always have breadcrumbs for you.

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