Criminal Mistakes Her Danger Zone for a Secret Hiding Place

When you’re thinking about stealing some cash, why don’t you try dressing up like Darth Vader? Or handing the teller a bouquet of flowers? Or being old? There are many creative ways to deceive law enforcement, but this morning Nakia Shaw of the Bronx decided to go a different route, through the back door, if you will…

The New York Post Daily Police Blotter reads:

A cheeky thief who put a stolen $20 bill and two glass pipes up her butt was arrested, cops said. Nakia Shaw, 28, strolled into the Golden Crust restaurant at White Plains Road and Allerton Avenue Tuesday at 8:45 a.m., barked “Give me that money!” at a customer, grabbed a bill from her and fled, cops said. The victim chased the thief into an apartment building, sources said. Police grabbed Shaw, who admitted she had the money, then yanked the bill and the pipes containing a tar-like substance from her rear, authorities said.

Daily Intel highlighted four hard-to-stomach terms from this anecdote: (1) “Tar-like substance,” (2) “From her rear,” (3) “Yanked,” and (4) “Golden Crust.” We’d like to add “up her butt,” “two glass pipes,” and “8:45 a.m.” to the mix. Oh, the mash-ups one could make of this.

For the sake of Nakia’s health, we must recommend that if she must steal, she find another way to creatively conceal her contraband.