Bowery Boogie notes another creative (prose-picture!) missive to bike thieves today. This one is reportedly posted all around the Equinox gym at 69 Prince Street, at Crosby. The text of it reads:
ATTN: BIKE THIEVES WHO KEEP STEALING FROM OUTSIDE EQUINOX
RE: MISSING BIKES FROM THIS LOCATION
REWARD FOR YOU AND ME: THE TERRIBLE THINGS THAT HAPPEN WHEN YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON:
That’s YOU (Willie Lopez from Ghost)
I don’t even want my [bike] back now that you’ve tarnished it with your filth.
I just want YOU to know that we HATE you, you [illegible, but we know what this means] ing BASTARDS(s).
I hope you ride these bikes with no [helmet] AND your head bounces on the pavement so you have a serious [injury] and you then get back on the [bike] because [Simpsons something or other].
We will think about you in [hell] while we are here in [nirvana].
Apparently, police told the victim that “this is the place thieves target most often in all the city.” He or she continues in an email to Bowery Boogie, “It sure would have been nice of my gym to share that information or SOMEONE to share that information so people are more cautious.”
We called Equinox, where we were told, “As far as I know, I haven’t seen any signs or heard of any bikes being stolen.”
Pressed further, she repeated that she hasn’t seen any signs, and usually no bikes, either. Because of work being done around the building and the accompanying scaffolding, she said, “I guess people have been putting the bikes across the street where there’s a bike rack, or on the opposite corner.”
We’ve contacted the gym manager for an official comment.
In the meantime, be forewarned and take adequate precautions — according to the victim’s email, at least six other folks have lost their bikes around the gym. Soho!