In Honor Of Weezer’s New Hurley, Here Are Suggestions For More Lost-Themed Albums

So Weezer’s next album is named Hurley, and that’s the cover: an unadorned photo of Hurley’s face. Even if you consider this a terrible idea, you must admit it doesn’t crack the Weezer’s top 25 worst ideas of the past five years; in fact, the idea of records inspired by Lost characters has potential. Here, some practical suggestions.

Rick Ross, Locke/Man in Black. Steals others’ identities. Old job was pretty embarrassing. Useless on Australian safari.

Dave Navarro, Jack. Dude no one gives a crap about your tattoos.

Fleetwood Mac, Kate. Enough with the love-triangle shit.

Charles Hamilton, Walt. Boy, he just dropped off the planet all of a sudden, huh.

Amy Winehouse, Ana Lucia. Promising arc cut short by legal woes.

Big Boi, Sawyer. Endless fount of amusing nicknames.

Nas & Kelis, Jin & Sun. Sweeping romance concluded in profoundly unsatisfying way.

M.I.A., Sayid. Yeah, you wish, M.I.A.

Notorious B.I.G., Mr. Eko. Gone too soon.

The Pussycat Dolls, Nikki & Paolo. Not soon enough.