I Need 3,000 More Facebook Friends


More than that, actually!

And not because I want to feel popular, either.

See, ever since I joined FB, I’ve been spending half my day sorting through all those friending emails and dealing with the “confirm/ignore” dilemma for each one.

It’s something to do, but still, it’s getting a little tedious and it’s taking away from all my other urgent activities like watering my Chia Pet and sanding my ceilings.

I can’t bear the tiresome act of rummaging through all these ludicrous cries for help anymore!

I’m absolutely living for the moment when I hit the maximum of 5,000 “friends,” and then I can simply ignore every request after that (or hopefully, they’ll just bounce back to the sender, complete with a smiley face).

So please friend me! I need about 3,145 people to do so today, and then I’ll finally be free!

Doesn’t life get easier once you’ve hit the maximum number of friends?

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on August 11, 2010

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