“What’s Going On Later?”


I can’t stand it when friends utter those mercenary words. What they really mean is, “Do you have anything fabulous to do that would make it worth my getting together with you?”

It’s all about trying to figure out if you can brighten their schedule, and if you can, then you might be worthy of a social hookup that night. If not, they’ll just stay with their other friends, and, by the way, you’re not invited to join them!

So how to answer that irksome query? I always lie or evade, only telling them the worst part of the evening. (“I’m going to a street rally in Tenafly, New Jersey, protesting the way chickens are plucked too hard. Wanna come?”)

This way, I know they won’t even respond. The next day, I can excitedly text them, “Oh, and after that, I went to a private Lady Gaga party for only 20 people at that fabulous new hotel! You would have loved it!”