Breaking: Couples Fight About Food


Here’s some breaking news for a slow day in August: Couples fight about food.

According to The Onion The Wall Street Journal, fully grown adults have some serious issues dealing with the eating habits exhibited by their significant others. To wit:

In the beginning of their 23-year marriage, Ms. Breeland tried to change her husband’s eating habits by nagging or kicking his leg under the table. Now she drinks wine to calm down, dines in another room or rushes through her own food so she can get away from his noises as quickly as possible.


The nadir of the Hills’ battles? Chocolate-chip cookies. Mr. Hills prefers his flat and thin. His wife wants them cakey and thick. “There is always an argument,” says Mr. Hills, 33, a travel blogger. “It’s usually resolved by the person who made them enjoying them and the other being ticked off.” (Ms. Hills has been known to get so mad after a flat batch comes out of the oven that she’s driven to the grocer to buy store-made cookies.)

Nadir, indeed. Still, it doesn’t quite plumb the depths reached by another subject, who reports dumping a man over the way he ate his French onion soup, thereby sparing him what would’ve undoubtedly been years of matrimonial bliss.