New Yorkers’ Shrinks Will Not Be Taking Summer Vacation, Moneyed Crazies Relieved


You would think that winter would be the big money for Gotham shrinks, being the most depressing, cold, and sad season once everything turns to slushy grossness. If you thought that, you’d be, apparently, wrong.

Via Katherine Rosman at the Wall Street Journal, New York’s neurotics are finally being tended to for the Dog Days of Summer, the only time of year New York’s pill-slingers, shrinks, and crazytricians are traditionally not knee-deep in batshit, because they — like all people, crazy or not — enjoy a little vacation. But not anymore:

“When we go away, no money comes in,” says Mr. Faranda who will decamp to Martha’s Vineyard for two weeks beginning Aug. 23. He has decided to market his year-round availability and plans to pay to be a sponsored link on Google when someone searches for “therapy in August.”

Yes, because the kind of patients you want are both Googling for therapy and the kind of people who click on Sponsored Links. Eegh! As it turns out, though, The Jews — yes, The Jews — were responsible for bringing therapy to New York City when intellectuals fled Eastern Europe before World War II. They were also responsible for bringing shrinks “summering” in August, because even Jews need vacation, too. The “wow” moment here, however, is this:

Shifts in the nature of mental health care also have begun to dismantle this custom. Psychoanalysis involves lying on a couch and free associating in an analyst’s office, sometimes three to five days a week. Today, few have the time or money for such self-discovery. Most people seeking therapy opt for weekly or fewer sessions–which in New York can range from $100 to $300 or more a pop.

Real Talk: Really though, who does have the time or the cash or even the desire to see their shrink that often? If you need to see your shrink more than twice a week, you should probably be put in the crazy house, and also, your shrink is sick of you. Luckily, since you can afford to go to the crazydoctor five times a week and you live in New York City, you also probably have enough money to go to a really, really nice crazyhouse too, thus circumventing the problem of your shrink going on vacation, because you can go on to your own crazyvacation, too! But really, seeing someone else — a shrink! — besides co-workers, friends, and family, and your bodega guys five times a week? Jesus. That — in and of itself — is enough to make anyone go crazy. Also, so is having a shrink who never takes vacation.