Following the Saturday-morning death of 23-year-old Long Island man Michael DiMaria in a Boston bar brawl, the Lansdowne Street pub will switch to plastic cups and “nonglass” bottles, said Patricia Malone, Boston’s director of consumer affairs and licensing. Considering this is a pretty damn horrible way to die — a/k/a a thrown glass shattering and fatally injuring you by piercing your jugular vein, in a Boston pub no less — something obviously has to be done. But are plastic cups really going to fix the problem of people who get drunk and want to beat the crap out of each other?
According to Malone, Boston has banned glassware at about 12 other bars or restaurants.
“It’s not a movement; it’s been on a case-by-case basis,” she said. “If you’re constantly seeing beer bottles flying and people being injured, you have an issue to deal with. And I deal with it by saying, ‘You’re going to plastic, and that’s the way it’s going to be.’ No one has ever fought me on it.”
Let’s repeat that: “If you’re constantly seeing beer bottles flying and people being injured, you have an issue to deal with.”
Well, the first step is admitting there’s a problem, we guess. For now, we’re staying put in New York City, where the folks we know just tend to pass out with their heads in their own leftover chicken finger platters after a few too many pinot grigios. In other news, Boston, sometimes you really freak the shit out of us.