How to Get Fired (and Arrested): Get Drunk, Shoot Up Company’s Computer Server


A drunk 23-year-old mortgage company employee in Salt Lake City has followed in Steven Slater’s path and gone ballistic on the job. In his case, however, no emergency evac slide was necessary. Instead, he showed up to the office drunk after going to a concert, pulled out a .45, and shot the company’s $100,000 computer server to hell. Then he passed out next to his gun. Shoot-ups can be exhausting!

Oh, Joshua Lee Campbell, you of three names and an itchy trigger-finger, when will you learn? You must dispose of the evidence!

Campbell also apparently used the old “I was beaten and drugged by someone who stole my gun and shot the server pretending to be me” excuse, which pretty much never works, especially when your friends acquaintances blab it around that you’d previously mentioned your dreams of shooting up that G.D. server.

At least, as far as “hate crimes” go, the server is inanimate.

In other employment news, initial jobless claims have dropped by greater than expected, which sheds a little more hope for the future of the economy if we look at the numbers in a glass-half-full sort of way. Only 473,000 of us are claiming unemployment for the first time! Oh.

Meanwhile, we’re pretty sure Campbell will not be eligible for unemployment benefits. On the bright side, Joshua Lee, you’ll have a great story to tell your grandchildren about how you really showed that server who’s boss!