Infographic: 13 Weird Ways to Get High, All of Which Make You a Categorical Crackhead Regardless

Happy Tuesday, New York! Today’s the day when you realize you are now knee-deep in a week that simply won’t end until, well, four days from now. And you are likely to reach the point of what’s commonly (though not medically) known as “quiet desperation” sometime over the next three hours. The answer? Anything but the following various ways to get high, none of which should interest you at all.

Unless you’re desperate.

For the record, the infographic you’re about see contains:

• Frogs
• Human Feces
• Fish Heads (Not to be mistaken for another ungainly way of getting high, “Phish Heads”)
• Nutmeg
• Cheese
• Aftershave
• Booze Cut With Jet Fuel
• Just Straight-Up-Jet Fuel
• Rotten fruit, sugar packets, and ketchup.
• Salamanders.
• Literally Deadly Moonshine.
• Urine.
• Bad Noise (Not to be mistaken for another ungainly way of getting high, “Phish Heads”)

So don’t say we didn’t warn you.