Channeling Foster, who identified Bros Icing Bros as Your Latest Internet Meme way back in May and then chronicled it through its multi-layered existential crisis of a life and maybe-or-maybe-not demise: Have you heard tell of the “game” in which men of a certain age — the type prone to excessive high-fiving, backward-hat-wearing, collar-popping, and general douchebaggery (for more, see “How to Ice a Bro”) — coerce one another to imbibe a vile concoction known as Smirnoff Ice, for fun?
As more and more people became recruited and culturally desensitized (plus, what about their poor tastebuds?) by this horrifying farce, celebrities got involved, including Coolio and the National. There was even an Icing attempt on Gawker’s Nick Denton. There was the gender-equalizing bawdily humorous takeoffs “Girls Busching Girls” and “Hos Misting Hos.” Icings started taking place in offices, even as co-ed events! And they are still happening! Before our very eyes!
Someone, somewhere deciding that Icing was akin to flirting, apparently. Someone, somewhere, did not get the Sticky Bandz memo. Someone, somewhere, owes some single ladies who work at a PR firm an apology.
From a tipster:
There are about 20 guys who work in another office, I think it’s a hedge fund, in our building. They are all guys and we are all girls, and we’re all in our 20s and 30s, so they’ve always been kind of interested in us, but shy. We have hopes that they will “man up” and come over or say hi, but they just sort of smile in the elevator and say hi back if we say it first.
Then one Friday they stopped over (6 of them) and came in, “Iced” a certain cute redhead, and went dashing back to their offices.
The redhead, apparently, participated fully in the icing. Quite probably, she was in shock. But when the bro dust settled,
We were like, WTF?
See, guys, girls don’t really, as a rule, want to be Iced, not least because Smirnoff Ice is a disgusting brew unsuitable even as pig swill. There’s also the fact that it’s a fratty ritual of the sort that many a New York-based plight-ridden single lady tries desperately to avoid. That is why we do not live in Boston, for example.
Thus, a public service announcement:
Hey, all you hedge funders/VCers/investment bankers/”finance” guys: If you want to infiltrate the velvet ghetto of PR or fashion, Icing is not the answer!
We hear the gals do like champagne, however. And Marc Jacobs bags. So, can we go ahead and kill this meme already?
Ladies, if there are any of you out there who do want to be Iced, please, speak now, or forever hold your peace. (Also, it goes without saying, but by “hos,” we mean “very classy ladies.”)