On Tuesday, a suicidal (according to the Post) or “happy, fun-loving” (according to the Daily News) man named Tom Magill jumped from a very high building (39 or 40 or 7 stories, depending on who you ask) and landed on a Dodge Charger that was very much unfortunately (to the owner) but fortunately (to Magill) parked below, because it saved his life.
Now, Maria McCormack, who owns the totaled car, has chosen to speak out about her fate. “I want to meet [Tom Magill] and say, ‘Why? Why my car out of all the cars in the city?'” she has asked.
The car had just gotten an oil change, for the love of God! And it had been filled with gas the day before! And the rear brakes had been fixed!
Poor Maria McCormack. You were really unlucky that day that Tom Magill looked out upon West End Avenue from 39 stories up, saw your $14,000 car shining like a luscious little cherry tomato, and was inexplicably drawn to it. He had to have it! That’s how suicide attempts go, right?
Dodge, on the other hand, is really quite lucky they have a chance to highlight their car’s “high-strength steel structure” featuring “high-impact suicide-cushioning abilities.”
Magill suffered broken bones and blood clots, and is now, amazingly, in stable condition.
Ever servicey, the Daily News has tips for how to survive a fall from a 39-story building. To start, don’t land on your head.