David Paterson and New Jersey Transit: Shut Up, New York!


Governor Paterson has delivered a week-long “time-out” to people jabbering and fighting about the proposed downtown Islamic Center. Hey, perhaps it’s a good time for a break from our religious intolerance and real estate bitchiness, at least for a little while.

“The greater issue involving this situation is how can we bring New York’s people back together and I propose that perhaps in light of the fact that Rosh Hashanah is this week, the Jewish New Year, that the celebration of Ramadan is coming at the end of the week and that we should all be focused on our concern to those who lost relatives [on] Sept. 11,” Paterson said, according to the Daily News.

Speaking of reflection, it will soon be much easier to sneak in some meditation — or napping, reading, or working — on your daily commute. As of today, certain NJ Transit cars will not allow loud cell phone conversations, crying children, popping bubble gum, or anything audibly obnoxious. This could be revolutionary.

Conductors will pass out cards explaining the restrictions of the Quiet Commute program — basically, shut the fuck up or switch train cars. The pilot program, already implemented by Amtrak, will depend on customer feedback, but of course, don’t run your mouth about the program while on a quiet car.