“Girl Without a Face” Was a Hoax!


I love the Discovery Channel/TLC lineup of half-ton teens, mermaid girls, and other human oddities trying to beat the odds while inspiring you through the chunk blowing.

It makes me feel so thrilled to be me!

But their “Born Without a Face” show was a complete joke.

Bitch had a face!

Come on, she sort of had eyes and kind of a nose and some semblance of a mouth, with three snaggly teeth bravely sticking out.

And though it was totally fucked up and shaped in some absolutely horrid middle-period Picasso configuration, there’s no doubt it was sort of a kind of a face, even before dozens of surgeries gave her more of sort of a kind of a face.

At least that’s what my friends tell me.

I spent the whole show staring at the wall.